nixsight

This week was a bit of an oddity – the first few days were lost to other occassions, and then Girl One wasn’t about, so I got to indulge myself with some risky propositions.

Fantastic Four

For some reason, I totally missed the two Fantastic Four movies when they came out.

I’m being arch, of course – that “some reason” was that I assumed that they were going to be utter shit. And all early reports about the first film seemed to bear that assumption out.

However, after reading the uber-cynical and not-well-realised first arc of Millar and Hitch on the quartet’s comic, I found myself perversely curious about the films – they couldn’t possibly be worse then the current run of the comics, could they?

And actually, the first of the two movies isn’t. It isn’t great, don’t get me wrong. But it isn’t bad, either.

In fact, in some ways, it does exactly what you’d hope it might, which is deliver an un-pretentious, angst-free superhero franchise movie. I read somewhere that they were aiming at a teen audience, and I’d have said that that wasn’t quite the case – the wide-eyed cheeriness of most of the performances, and simple wowiness of the effects sequences seem to suggest a younger intended audience.

But then, of course, there are references to suicide, a quite violent murder, and the occassional moments of wry cheekiness, so it’s likely that they were actually going for a broader sweep of the box-office.

This lack of a definitive intended audience is actually probably where the film falls down, because it means that it ends up lacking any real focus, or confident direction. There are some superb effects sequences, the power reveals are all handled quite nicely, and the lead performances – even that of Jessica Alba, who I really had my doubts about as Sue Storm – are all convincing. But while there’s thankfully very little melodrama, there’s also very little actual drama, and the few opportunities to provide it are tragically overlooked.

The best example of this comes early, as the foursome head off into space for Von Doom’s space-station. Whether the audience is expected to already know the fate that they are heading for, or to come to the whole thing fresh, is irrelevant – this sequence has the potential for great visual impact. There’s the possibility of the launch, of breaking atmosphere, the approach to this quite impressive space-station, and maybe even the docking process.

What we get instead is a short, bickery conversation before boarding of the shuttle, and a cut to the players already aboard the station.

Which wouldn’t be a problem, if they were pressed for time. But that obviously isn’t the case, because very soon afterwards, after the (quite impressive) cataclysm that ultimately gives the team – and in this case Doom – their powers, we find ourselves back on earth where the characters are recuperating, and within minutes we’re treated to what seems an interminable and lovingly shot sequence following a helicopter whose sole purpose is to drop Johnny Storm and his girl onto a mountain so that they can snowboard down it.

This lack of the ability to play up the big scenes, and play down the humdrum, is the only thing that really screws the pacing of the film, but I have to say, it’s a fairly minor complaint. There are some great, if daft, set-pieces – my favourite being the scenes on the bridge, when the Thing tries to save a suicide from himself. It’s worth mentioning here that nearly every time the FF rescue the adoring population from some disaster or catastrophe in this film, it is one that has been caused by them in the first place.

Actually, aside from the lack of solid pacing, the only other thing that worried me about the film was the make-up on the Thing – every other power effect was handled really well, but on Ben Grimm, the prosthetics, that were supposed to look like orange rock, actually look like rubber, when you first see him. This was a concern when seeing early stills, too, but as it turns out, it only looks really bad when the character is static. Michael Chiklis works hard to make you suspend your disbelief about the character, and quite often, this actually works.

So anyway, Fantastic Four, while flawed, wasn’t nearly as bad as I had decided it would be, and it turned out to be a perfect Sunday afternoon movie.

Fantastic Four – Rise Of The Silver Surfer

In fact, I was so pleasantly surprised by the first Fantastic Four movie, which was like the dvd version of dappy feel-good pop-music, that I immediately watched the sequel.

Again, I’m being a little arch. One of the other reasons that I decided to watch these films at all was that the trailer for this sequel – with it’s extended sequence of the Human Torch chasing the Silver Surfer – always looked kinda nifty.

And it is, really. The characters have moved on, but only a matter of months. Now, they are celebrities – although this does give rise to one irritation, which is the slight reliance on jokes about Johnny’s capitalist obsession with product placement and licensing options. There is also the hint of soapiness surrounding the impending wedding of Reed and Sue, but even that is fairly low-drama. There’s a mild Scooby Doo moment with Reed loosening up on the dance-floor, but you forgive it, because generally, these two movies do everything with a smile on their face, and it is quite infectious. Even Ben Grimm’s plight is diluted somewhat by the early introduction – in the first film – of a love interest.

The flaws this time around are the same as in the first installment, and they once again, they hold the film back from being truly awesome. Basically, the film has lots of action, and that action all looks beautiful, but sadly it isn’t edited for excitement.

From the first shot, of a planet being destroyed, you get a feel for this problem – visually, it looks great, but instead of choosing angles that take the viewer into the disaster, the choice is made to zoom very slowly away from the planet, while it remains dead-center in the screen. This has the peculiar effect of making the world look as if it is simply falling apart and withering naturally, rather then creating the sense of danger and scale that it should.

At another point, the foursome journeys to London, and there follows what could have been a particularly stressful and horrible scene involving the London Eye. Visually, the effects all look realistic enough, and everything moves right, but the framing and editing manages to remove any actual sense of danger that the audience might have felt.

Although the whole sequence set in London was probably marred by the fact that it reminded me so completely of Team America’s cataclysmic arrival in Paris.

I’m posting this now, to get it out on time, but there is more to come. I’ve just been delayed by bad plumbing (NOT a euphemism).

Recon 2022 – The Mezzo Incident

I heard about this film in a glance reading of a post over at io9. If I’d read the post a little more carefully, I’d have realised that the poster wasn’t trying to say that the film was actually any good.

It’s a fairly standard – read “riddled with cliches” - space marines story, which barely manages to stave off Heinlein’s estate by cobbling together an all-new – read “incomprehensible” – mythos for it’s stories to take place in. This film is the second in a series – the third is trailed at the end of this film in much the same way that the next Bond film always used to be in the end credits of one of those flicks.

I managed to get through the film on the back of the sheer and often painfully obvious enthusiasm of the cast - but thinking back, there’s no way of even saying that it’s “so bad, it’s good”. It’s actually so bad that you want to draft a polite but firm letter to everyone involved, telling them to bloody well stop making films.

It’s like a whole bunch of things at once, this film.

You know in Friends, when Joey got a part on a low budget film, and someone would either phone him or visit, and you’d see the shambolic and ridiculous mess that he was apparently in, being filmed around him? And you know how you always thought, when you saw him in some stupid get-up, “well, that’s just ridiculous – no-one would ever make something that looked so bad!”

Or, you know how when there’s a satirical or otherwise comedic film about making films, and when they do the in-film filming of the in-film film, it always looks really naff, and it comes off as almost unfortunate that the film-film filmmakers don’t realise that while they think they’re making a joke, they’re actually sort of making that joke at their own expense?

Or, like, if there was a film in which a porn writer/director decides that he wants to break out of the adult movie industry, and finally make that Star Wars inspired epic space-opera – but he has to do it stealthily using all of the same actors and resources from the porn movie that his producers think they’re getting?

This is that movie.

Except, of course, if these were porn directors and stars, the very gratuitously placed soft-porn scenes, of which there are five or six, might actually have been, you know, dirty. Instead of naff.

That said, I actually quite enjoyed the film, sub-1970s effects and all. But that’s probably because I’m worthless when Girl One isn’t around.

Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay

So finally here we are, with the only film I really had any expectations of.

I already know I’m probably asking for trouble when I say this, but after thinking I would hate “Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle”, I found myself drawn to it by an unusually irreverent ad campaign, and once I finally saw it, I found that it was a really well-made, although often chaotic, film. The UK renaming of it, to “… Get The Munchies” immediately misses the key strengths to the film, which is that despite it’s stoner movie trappings, this is actually a nicely put together comedy buddy movie, with some real stand-out moments.

Here, again, there’s a similar dynamic in place. Starting minutes after the previous movie finished, Harold and Kumar are preparing to head for Amsterdam. Unfortunately, Kumar has some self-destructive impulse-control problems, and before long the chaps are headed for Guantanamo Bay, suspected of being terrorists.

And don’t get me wrong - there are some really stupid visual and audial moments, blatantly designed to appeal to the shock-and-urr audiences that seem to demand that kind of thing. But at the same time that all of that is going on, there’s a real subversive slant to the script, and a lot of the interplay between the characters, especially the leads, is really well observed, and perfectly delivered.

There’s a joyful surreality to the film, as well, which is carried over from the first movie, and if anything scaled up. The obvious plot foreshadowing that goes on almost always ends up paying off, and when the sweet moments come off, they really do come off. There is nudity, but in this film it’s played to good effect compared to similar moments in “Euro Trip”, although I acknowledge that the line between the use of it there and here is contextual, and probably whisp thin. I make the comparison to that film simply because I mentioned it last week, and also the H and K mention it in this movie, too.

The romance sub-plots in the film are well conceived, especially in comparison to those in similar films, and the tense relationship between Kumar’s compulsive and Harold’s neurotic, as well as being the source of a lot of the cool character humour, is also played fondly enough that you can believe why, despite their differences, these two are supposed to be friends.

Neil Patrick Harris reprises his psychotic portrayal of himself, and his obvious enjoyment of the role is infectious. In fact, my two standout parts of the film are pretty much his whole extended sequence, and the schmaltzy-yet-somehow-here-you-don’t-mind scene that Kumar gets in the climactic wedding.

Really good fun, and if I can get Girl One past the really quite disgusting sound-effects in the first five minutes, I think she’ll enjoy it too. The first movie, certainly, had a broader appeal then I’d have expected!

If you’ve seen any of these films, or you just plain think I’m an idiot, please do comment in the comments!