nixsight

the nth shakespeare monkey

2009-07-09 Digital Breadcrumbs

digital breadcrumb 13:21 9/07/09
  • @ronskanky Most certainly will do. In thriller mode at moment with @ememess's Bad Things, but that'll be done soon, so shall clear a space. in reply to ronskanky #
  • @purseonality Heh… awesomely, we had 3 girls behind us giggling the whole way through. I didn't say anything, tho – they were too cute. in reply to purseonality #
  • @RedMummy Just listening to it now… in reply to RedMummy #
  • http://is.gd/1rZCP – My favourite bit, that kind of sums up the whole vid, is "huh." #
  • @Sulman Oh Black Rain is a not bad looking film at all. Couple of moments that I'll always remember – such as the motorbike decap? in reply to Sulman #
  • @steevbishop I need to catch up on this televisual event, don't I? in reply to steevbishop #
  • @steevbishop Oh gosh. Well, Girl One won't be watching it at all during the week – she's not a fan – so I don't know if that helps… EEP! in reply to steevbishop #
  • The last 2 or 3 weeks have been full of exceptional days & decisions – by which I mean, different from the norm, requiring attention… #
  • … Many of the exceptions have been quite, quite lovely, but it does leave one rather tired, to be frankly honest. #
  • @steevbishop You have a stack of wedding magazines? in reply to steevbishop #
  • @steevbishop Whaaat? It's a reasonable question – Girl One has been limited to AT MOST 1 Wedding mag every 2 months. I AM STRICT! in reply to steevbishop #
  • Earlier text from Girl One: "I just walked past a man stood in a front garden with his willy out! I feel a bit disturbed now! :( "… #
  • … Is it wrong that I'm concerned about how I compare? #
  • (NOT REALLY I AM TOTALLY SECURE IN MY GENITOLOGY!) #
  • @RedMummy She didn't hang around. But he didn't look like he was gardening… in reply to RedMummy #
  • @RedMummy Heh… I liked it – it was a good enough homage to MJ. Tho I'm sour on MJ, so my mileage may vary…! in reply to RedMummy #
  • @steevbishop … That's what I thought. in reply to steevbishop #
  • @Sulman Oh my god… is that full of cream? Why? Where? How did you get that? Are they on campus? in reply to Sulman #
  • @Mykx Oh, no, she loves it. She's not the jealous type. (NOTE: She IS the jealous type… ;) ) in reply to Mykx #
  • @Mykx Thanks for the podcast thingie… it's really useful, I reckon… #
  • @Mykx … I can't tell if that was sarcasm. :( in reply to Mykx #
  • @Sulman But… But I do. A department of cool of one. Within a larger department of variable to okay. Oh, you mean THE Department Of Cool. in reply to Sulman #
  • @Mykx I don't think she's all THAT jealous, but then sometimes she surprises me. And the rest of those two tweets made me laugh! in reply to Mykx #
  • @steevbishop That is pretty fucking funny. in reply to steevbishop #
  • RT @steevbishop: …whether you love wrestling or hate it, Santino Marella’s antics in this Battle Royale are fantastic: http://tr.im/rwI5 #
  • http://is.gd/1s36C – Oh yuck. An exercise in how creepy CGI can make things… #
  • FEAR THEM @Mykx! #
  • @MissDracula Interesting read – I'd assumed similar. I am trying – perhaps too much – to head this sort of thing off as we prepare for ours. in reply to MissDracula #
  • Ha! I think a few of my exchanges with @Bournemouthecho are of the "Well THANKS!" variety. #
  • @steevbishop S'just no real reason for it, is there? Creepy freaky. & the discomfort builds throughout the ad. in reply to steevbishop #
  • @idsharman I don't know. My temptation is to agree, but I think the raw material just wouldn't ever translate. Babies don't walk upright. in reply to idsharman #
  • RT @ScruffyPanther: I'm gonna read my book. With pictures. Heat. I'm gonna read Heat. (HA!) #
  • @caitlinmoran … It occurs to me that I've never seen orig version either. I think I've got it borrerred from @Sulman or someone, n'all. in reply to caitlinmoran #
  • @acheverton Getting mixed reports, so keeping an open mind, but so much else going on… in reply to acheverton #
  • @Sulman Ah, I suspect the copy we had was actually Ockery Mon Daffery's, then. in reply to Sulman #
  • @hattiehattie A few months ago, I discovered that I tweet in tongues when drunk. Well structured sentences, full of nightmares. Yeesh. in reply to hattiehattie #
  • @caitlinmoran I think @lindapalermo is feeling what I like to call Downfall Overdubbed Hitler Fury. Like Hitler! In those hilarious vids! in reply to caitlinmoran #
  • The @geeksyndicate episode this week just reminded me of the awesome "Convoy". Want to watch it again! #
  • @imjustmike I wonder that all the time! in reply to imjustmike #
  • I've typed the words Schmurgen Jonerhaffs so many times this morning that they have ceased to have any meaning. #
  • @idsharman (I was being clever!) in reply to idsharman #
  • @Mykx I WAS BEING CLEVER!! in reply to Mykx #
  • You know that adage about how a joke isn't a joke if you have to explain it…? #
  • @idsharman @Mykx S'okay… I found it funny finding it funny! #
  • @georgelondon Your ocd is almost identical to MY ocd about stuff like that, but seriously – everybody else drops in & out. Stick at it yo! in reply to georgelondon #
  • @Mykx (Mine too) in reply to Mykx #
  • @kidbritishmusic I think it's like, saying, go over there, go over there… where I don't have to deal with you. in reply to kidbritishmusic #
  • @daraobriain You mean, like the hippies & such? Hm. Hitler was anti-war? I didn't see THAT coming… in reply to daraobriain #
  • http://is.gd/1s86M – What? #
  • http://is.gd/1s8bF – What? WHAT?!? #
  • @steevbishop Yeah… it upset me. Bearing in mind Girl One's Muppet fear, not sure which way she'd go on those vids… in reply to steevbishop #
  • @davidbaillie Oh, noes, I am teh fine… Regained sense of perspective. Azzopardi? I'd have put money on you or Lester… If I HAD money… in reply to davidbaillie #
  • RT @georgelondon: So tell me, don't you just hate rhetorical questions? (HA!) #
  • Just watched the video of Stan Lee & Michael Jackson posted at Bleeding Cool (via @emmevieceli) – http://is.gd/1sekm... #
  • Thought Jack Kirby's perspective was odd. But now transfixed by Stan Lee's hand in the preview image: http://is.gd/1sekm. Kirby was right..! #
  • Roll this trucking convoy 'cross the Yew Ess Eh, @GeekSyndicate #
  • @CollingsA OH SNAP! in reply to CollingsA #
  • Oh blimey, District 9 looks AWESOME! http://is.gd/1sf41 – Jackson produced, Blomkamp directed goodness! #
  • @steevbishop Oh EXCELLENT! I've been relatively unlucky in the hot teacher stakes as a student, but met a few as support staff in education! in reply to steevbishop #
  • @douglasnoble Yay! Well done, Takeshi! in reply to douglasnoble #
  • @KevinColden Ha! When you said that, I thought of this: http://is.gd/1siI6 in reply to KevinColden #
  • http://is.gd/1siI6 – Listen closely, because I'm only going to tweet this once… #
  • What If Aphex Twin Was A Little Girl? – http://is.gd/1sjhu – (Someone else tweeted this first – who? I forget…) #
  • @KevinColden Got that to look forward to at some point, I guess. Find self promotion REALLY hard, tho! in reply to KevinColden #
  • @BeaucoupKevin Hah… is that one circling again? in reply to BeaucoupKevin #
  • AHA! Via @BeaucoupKevin! THAT'S who the Aphex Twin Girlie was from! #
  • @ScruffyPanther OH NOES! How will you defeats the terrorisers with feets all bleedy, Mz MCCLANE? in reply to ScruffyPanther #
  • @ScruffyPanther (Or… are you okay??) in reply to ScruffyPanther #
  • @thecraigmorris Oh, god, I think you might be right… in reply to thecraigmorris #
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    Found Objects

    • The guy with the cock-piercing

      I once knew this guy. He was an unexceptional guy - a little geeky, and a lot loud, but not prone to particularly deep thought, or certainly not anything ground-breaking or controversial. He’d been signed off sick for a while with depression or some-such, and for all his noisy bluster and inability to let anyone else finish a sentence, it was fairly clear to anybody who cared to look that he was a pretty nervy guy.

      The only really unusual thing about the guy was that he had a pierced cock, and like many similar cultural burps, this fact became less interesting to anyone else in direct proportion to how transparently attention-seeking the initial motive behind doing it became.

      This is how a typical situation would play out. Bear in mind I’m paraphrasing, and may be conflating details for effect.

      The guy would walk into a room and ostentatiously announce his presence, by being blustery and loud. People would acknowledge him with an enthusiasm in direct relation to how well they knew and liked him, whether their attention was already taken up elsewhere, and whether or not they were just trying to have a quiet night.

      Depending on the response, he would do something else noisy, until at the very least, most people knew he was there.

      Then, after a while, regardless of what other conversations were going on, he would find a way to mention his pierced cock.

      “Did you see Episode 1?” A person would say.
      “Yeah, it was shit.” Someone would respond.
      “Yeah. It’s even shitter the fourth and fifth times.” The first person would continue.
      “…God, people are always going on about my pierced cock.” Our hero would loudly interject.
      “Hm.” One of the other people around the table would say, tactfully. “Still, looking forward to the second Matrix movie. It should be a treat. After all, that first one was lots of fun.”
      “I mean, ALWAYS. It’s like they’ve never heard about cock piercings before. God, people, don’t go on about it, you know? It’s just a piercing. In my cock. It’s no big deal.” The guy would continue.
      “Right. Yeah.” Somebody would say, feet shuffling. “So…”
      “You know I’ve got my cock pierced, right?”
      “Uuuhm. Oh.” The speaker would look frantically around the other people at the table, and finding no refuge, would take the leap. “Really? So… you’ve got… your cock pierced?”

      The guy with the pierced cock would roll his eyes dramatically, and say “Oh, god, come on. It’s just a cock piercing. It’s just life, you know? Why is everybody so fucking interested in it? Jesus, people are sad, if the only thing they’ve got to get excited about in their mundane little lives is judging someone just for being different, and having a little imagination. Why can’t people just mind their own business and let people like me do what we want with our cocks. It isn’t hurting anyone. It’s just personal expression.”

      “Oh… kay.” Someone would say, sheepishly, absently scratching at their shirt. Maybe their nipple ring was chafing… we’ll never know.

      “It’s like I can’t even go out any more.” The rant would continue. “The other night, I was in this place, just minding my own business, having a drink, and some girls I’d never met before begged me out of the blue to see my cock piercing. So I was like ‘fucking hell, okay, jesus, if it’ll shut you up’, and got up on the table and showed them all my cock. You know, to stop them going on about it.” There would be a pause, in which it’d feel like he was almost challenging someone to talk about something else, his fingers twitching ever so slightly near his zipper.

      Nobody would say anything for a bit. Then conversation would slowly start to get back to normal.

      Then, suddenly:
      “Fuck, okay, if it’ll shut you up, you can see it.”
      And the sound of a zipper.

      For some reason, and I have genuinely, sincerely no idea why, that memory, about a person of great noise and fury that ultimately signified nothing, has been on my mind all day today, so I thought I’d share it with you.

      03/12/10


    • Honest Comic Names

      Chris Sims, ladies and gentlemen…


      03/12/10

    • Evidence of the demise of purchased music is everywhere to be seen, except for one place: the statistics.
      Interesting article about the music industry @ the Guardian

      03/12/10

    Digital Breadcrumbs

    • RT @Al_Ewing: OH MY GOD http://twurl.cc/2bcc 1 hr ago
    • @Al_Ewing That's a joke, though, right? It HAS to be, right? People aren't really that...no, forget it. Forget I said anything. in reply to Al_Ewing 1 hr ago
    • The guy with the cock-piercing - I once knew this guy. He was an unexceptional guy - a little geeky, and a... http://tumblr.com/xi57cfr14 1 hr ago
    • @DJDarren It just occured to me, midway through reading the words "important", "video" & "Lady Gaga" on a post that I don't gain anything. in reply to DJDarren 2 hrs ago
    • @DJDarren But no. Just someone even more self-absorbed and insufferable than I am. in reply to DJDarren 2 hrs ago
    • @DJDarren Ah, I see. Now that I think about it, it does look kind of like I mentioned it because I was gagging to tell someone, doesn't it? in reply to DJDarren 2 hrs ago
    • More updates...

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