Jeremy Paxman is doing the full Morris, about the spree shootings earlier today, so it seems like as good a time as any to escape into the brighter, sharper world of Lost.
So, we start on Jackâ€™s eye â€“ this shot is a favourite convention of the show, and if somebody hasnâ€™t already compiled all of them together, somewhere, itâ€™s bound to happen soon enough.
Heâ€™s bleeding inexplicably from his neck again â€“ this time, itâ€™s a pretty serious wound, and it sticks with him once he leaves the mirror, still visible at the breakfast table later on.
Claire is staying with him and his son, and sheâ€™s there when Desmond, pretending to be someone from Oceanic, calls to tell Jack that they have found his fatherâ€™s body, lost at the beginning of this season.
Itâ€™s a ruse! Desmond is clearly trying to get the Lostees in the parallel together at LAX. FOR HIS OWN NEFARIOUS PURPOSES!
Jackâ€™s son mentioned his concert later today, and Jack promised that he would attend. Is it cynical to think that he probably wonâ€™t make it?
Back on the island, Jack is trying to clean up Kateâ€™s wound. IT HURTS. Kate figures distracting herself with the pain of Jin and Sunâ€™s dying will be a good way to ignore the pain.
Jack and Kate agree that Locke â€“ nonLocke, of course â€“ will have to die for what he did.
Looking at Sawyer now, itâ€™s weird to think that it was only a few story days before this that he and Juliet were loving life as part of the Dharma initiative.
Desmond watches Locke return to work, and Benjamin Linus catches him, trying to make a citizenâ€™s arrest. Desmond beats the hell out of Linus, and at the same time gives Linus a flash-insight into the other parallel. Which is interesting â€“ so far, I think Ben is the only person incidental to the Oceanic flight in the LAX parallel who has been included to such an extent in the off-island/on-island stuff. Desmond, who can remember all iterations, gives a greater beating than is entirely necessary â€“ heâ€™s obviously punishing this Linus for the crimes of the other one.
Thereâ€™s a great scene with Richard Alpert, Benry and Miles, as they look for the Dharma villageâ€¦ Miles makes reference to the time dilation thing I mentioned in reference to Sawyer, by referring to his time with Dharma as being 30 years before Benry lived there, otherwise known as last week. Benry is back on form while taking charge, as he guides the other two to where he has explosives hidden â€“ there is some marvellously sniffy banter about C4.
Once they get to the village, though, things change, as Miles starts to have a weird reaction with all the deadness around. Itâ€™s Benryâ€™s daughter Miles is responding to â€“ after she was killed, and Benry left the island, Richard buried her.
LOLâ€¦ â€œwhatâ€™s thatâ€¦ a secret-er room?â€ Oh, Miles!
â€œAre we looking to cripple the plane, or blow it to hell?â€
“Blow it to hell.â€
Woah, Jim Robinson is at the village. This scientist woman of his is all over the place, isnâ€™t she?
Iâ€™d almost forgotten the antipathy between Benry and Widmore. When Widmore left the island, it seemed to be Benry who was in charge, but Widmore has taken the edge in the intervening years. Apparently Jacob came to Widmore after Widmoreâ€™s freighter was destroyed. And now, Widmore seems to be entering end-game mode â€“ he rigged the plane, and tells his assistant to sink the boat they came to the main island on.
She sees that nonLocke is coming, at which point Widmore tells Benry et al to hide. Like big girls.
Back in the parallel, Dr Linus explains to Locke what happened to him, as the school nurse fixes him up. What does it mean for Locke to â€œlet goâ€?
Desmond turns himself in to Sawyer and Miles for what he did to Linus and Lockeâ€¦ which gets him put in a cell with Sayid and Kate. Iâ€™m loving Desmondâ€™s cockiness in this parallel, but I canâ€™t help but think itâ€™s building up to something pretty nasty. Also, Miles mentions his fatherâ€™s work at the museum â€“ weâ€™d seen him previously announcing Hurley at a benefit â€“ and Charlotte is going to be there. Thereâ€™s a benefit concert at the museum, and I guess thatâ€™s probably where Jack and his son are going to be â€“ so I guess he might make the gig after all. I wonder whether Dogen will be in attendance as well?
Sawyer has his guilty moment, and Jack could be a dick about it, but instead he absolves Sawyer completely. However, I figure that wonâ€™t be enough for Sawyer.
Baby Jacob steals Jacobâ€™s ashes from Hurley, and leads Hurley to ghosty Jacob, sitting at a fire.
Ghosty Jacob tells him that his ashes are in the fire, and when it burns out, Hurley will never see him again. Which is all mumbo-jumbo spiritual nonsense, of course, but it tallies nicely with the other fantastical elements of Jacob in this world, like the lighthouse that looks out onto distant places andâ€¦ well, all that stuff.
He says Hurley should go and get his friends, because the end is very near.
â€œThere are both great plans, but Iâ€™m going to go with surviving. If you need us, weâ€™re going to be running through the jungle.â€ Miles is awesome.
Jim Robinson wants to hide from nonLocke, but Benry wants to go out and face the inevitable.
Miles wants to run, and Richard Alpert wants to try to convince nonLocke to leave with him. He says that all nonLocke wants is for Richard to join him.
What appears to happen instead is that nonLocke â€“ as Smokey â€“ instantly and brutally disposes of Richard.
Benry, witnessing this, calmly goes and takes a seat, and waits for nonLocke. When nonLocke appears, you already know this is going to be a great scene.
He offers Benry a trade â€“ a whole bunch of murders for ownership of the island, once nonLocke has gone. Benry gives up Jim Robinson in a second.
Aww, Alex! And thereâ€™s Rousseau, who is marginally less crazy, and lots cleaner, in this parallel. They take the knackered Dr Linus home for dinner â€“ he hasnâ€™t met Alexâ€™s mother before, and she tells him that he is the closest thing to a father that Alex has ever had.
It makes him a little teary, the big girl.
Back on the island, itâ€™s hard to imagine that Benry, who seems to be giving up Jim Robinson and his scientist with actual relish, isnâ€™t running some sort of game.
NonLocke dispatches Zoe without blinking, and then bargains with Widmore for the life of Widmoreâ€™s daughter.
Widmore says a thing or two about bringing Desmond to the island as a last resort, due to his unique resistance to electro-magnetism, and then Benry kills him. His argument, when nonLocke confronts him about it, is, â€œhe doesnâ€™t get to save his daughter.â€
Then Benry quite deliberately reminds nonLocke that he had mentioned some other murders that Benry had to commit.
Everyone else meets Jacob, and to Hurleyâ€™s surprise, they can all see him. Kate confronts Jacob about his list, demanding to know why Sun and Jin and Sayid and everybody else had to die.
Then Jacob actually says the name of the episode! He promises that by the time the fire dies out, theyâ€™ll all know everything they need to, and that by then, one of them will take over protection of the island.
Locke visits Jack, and lays out their arc in the LAX parallel to date. It all sounds a little contrived when you lay it out like that, Locke!
(No, it doesnâ€™tâ€¦ Lockeâ€™s mistaking coincidence for fate, but itâ€™s actually quite a lovely, warm scene, actually.)
Jacob talks about a mistake he made a long time ago that could cost the lives of everyone that theyâ€™ve ever met. Heâ€™s talking about what he did to his brother.
Sawyer tells Jacob that he was doing just fine before he was plucked from his other existence, at which point Jacob bluntly lays out that Sawyer wasnâ€™t, that none of them were. He tells them what we already know â€“ that all of their lives were shit well before Jacob pulled them out of them.
Kateâ€™s name was crossed out because she became a mother? Hmâ€¦ and Jacob utters one of those perfect lines, that the writers must have wryly smiled themselves stupid about when they came up with it:
â€œItâ€™s just a line of chalk in a cave â€“ the job is yours if you want it, Kate.â€
Lolâ€¦ there is a light that never goes out.
Jacob wants them to kill the monster.
Jacob isnâ€™t going to pick the candidateâ€¦ they have to choose themselves â€“ he says he wasnâ€™t given a choice, so he wants to give them one.
And Jack doesnâ€™t even give anyone else a chance â€“ heâ€™s up there, volunteering! Of course he is. My guess is, he doesnâ€™t get to be the one who protects the island. Itâ€™s been chosen too far from the end of the season, and nothingâ€™s ever easy in this show.
I think Jacob just made Jack immortal. Jears 4 EVAR.
LOLS Desmond only got himself into prison so he could break Sayid and Kate out!
Tonight thereâ€™s going to be a jail-break, somewhere in this townâ€¦ Uhâ€¦ probably at the jail.
Oh, Ana Lucia, you are such a crooked bitch. And yay! Hurley!
Hehâ€¦ Hurley recognises Ana Lucia, but Ana Lucia â€œisnâ€™t ready yet.â€
Desmond wtf. Mind you, heâ€™s got good taste, getting Kate to put on a little dress and go to the concert with him.
NonLocke walks because he likes the feel of the ground under his feet. It reminds him that he was once human. The big softy!
NonLocke isnâ€™t fussed that Desmond isnâ€™t in the well. He says that Desmond was Jacobâ€™s failsafe â€“ in case his precious candidates all died. Is he saying that Desmond wasnâ€™t a candidate? He says that Desmond can help him destroy the island.
And thatâ€™s that. Penultimate episode, done. Finale here I comeâ€¦