Okay, I’m off somewhere eating too much food and turning even rounder than I ever was. Also, maybe playing on a new XBox 360? Hope hope?

Okay, that last thing isn’t going to happen. But I will have awesome gifts and stuff. Girl One is great at that sort of thing.

So, anyway, if for some peculiar reason you are on the internet today, and have wandered over here, I guess I should provide something for you.

How about some festive songs? That sounds good, huh?

Sleighride To Heck – James Kochalka

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I love the chaos of this one as it all starts to fall apart. One of those voices in the background is Moby, by the way. See, he isn’t a completely humourless fuck.

Christmas Time In Hell – Satan from South Park

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Because the South Park guys actually write damn good songs. The attention to detail in this one is the thing. Also, how damn jaunty it is, considering.

I’ve Got A Boner For X-Mas – Nerf Herder

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Okay, so “Fairytale Of New York” IS Christmas, but this is my hands down favourite song that isn’t about New York. Or Fairytales. This song is how I feel about Christmas right flipping now.

It’s a bit hectic here, so I’m running behind on my music post this week. This is, of course, not news to anyone – I’m always running late on my posts. Eventually I’ll get to a point where I don’t feel the need to apologise at the beginning of every one that’s overdue. You’ll note that I’ve dropped the date from the posts, and that’s in some ways an admission of how rubbish I am at keeping up!

This week, I’m in a slightly romantic mood, so I figured it was a good time for unusual duets. Though, of course, it being me, they aren’t necessarily the most perky of songs in some cases.

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A bit of a diversion this week, because… well, because the urge took me, and I had to take it back…

I’ve loved They Might Be Giants for such a long time, but it’s a peculiar kind of love. They are the loyal, cute and intelligent friend that I forget about from time to time, but when something reminds me of them, I have to seek them out instantly, nervously concerned that they won’t remember me. A quick search reveals that so much has changed in their lives – like a new album that I knew nothing about. I wonder how much they’ll have changed.

Then, of course, it turns out that they do remember me. And even though they’ve got more stories to tell, we easily fall into the same old conversations.

Oh, god, They Might Be Giants are my Cookie.

Anyway, people know the band for a lot of things that the band aren’t. It isn’t their fault, or the band’s, really. The closest they ever got to fame were with two songs that could easily be described as novelty hits, and that’s the sort of peculiar celebrity that can kill an otherwise long-lived group.

In fact, those two songs – “Birdhouse In Your Soul” and “Istanbul” – though characteristic of the band’s output musically, and a lot of fun, aren’t typical TMBG tracks, though Birdhouse comes close. If all of their output had that same crowd-pleasing infectious appeal, and that was all they had going for them, I would have loved them for the length of the glorious summer of 1990, but I don’t know if they’d still resonate with me as much as they do today.

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We like TV… And though it was a little off-putting when it first happened, I love the trend that started a few years back of attaching a pre-existing song to a show as it’s theme.

(When did this start properly, by the way? My instinct says that the first CSI really kicked it off proper-style, but that just seems like it can’t be right, for some reason… enlighten me in the comments, wouldja?)

There are a whole bunch of lovely examples, but this is a small selection of tracks that I’ve been thinking about recently, so these are the ones that I’m posting:

Baba O Riley – The Who

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Though I had no previous experience of this song before they used it on “CSI: New York”, and it took a while to grow on me at first because of it’s meandering opening, it has become my favourite of the trio of The Who songs that the CSI shows use as tradition. And no, I don’t know how I missed it, as it seems it’s well known – it’s in the original “Life On Mars”, too.
The initial version of the song that they used over the show’s opening credits was cut down pretty short – because this is a bit of an epic song – but it perfectly defines this branch of the franchise as being the on-the-street, shoulder-to-the-grindstone, heavy lifting team that you’d expect of New York cops. The musical scope of the tune belies the lyrics, which are working-man lyrics.
Around season three or four, they swapped out that more powerful version of the song for a musical stab heavy, lyric-light one, with punchier visuals to go along with them.
Girl One and I have not yet come to terms with this – singing along to the earlier version was a highlight of our TV watching experience. Still not sure why they did it, as the song seems redundant without the cool vocals.

We Used To Be Friends – The Dandy Warhols

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“Veronica Mars” was one of the best shows that nobody ever saw. I’m still not sure how well known this song was before the show started, but it’s a perfect fit – punchy and youthful, and lyrically dealing with some of the high-school, fall-from-grace social-strata themes of the show.
There was even one of those awesome John Water’s “Yay!” moments during the first season, when Veronica spoke the main chorus lyric as part of the cold-open, just before the credits rolled.
They swapped the original theme out in the third season, for a woozier version of the same song, by the same band. But it didn’t feel as shrewd as the CSI decision in that case, as it was still a pretty – if abstract – version of the tune.

Once In A Lifetime – Talking Heads

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This being used as the theme to “Numbers” is a lovely moment of closure for me. I’m a big Talking Heads fan, and the first time I heard them was when this song was used at the beginning of “Down And Out In Beverly Hills”.
There’s a questioning tone in the song, aimed at the listener’s expectations and understanding of their life so far, that worked well for that movie’s themes, and works equally well for the near-autistic attention to detail and use of maths and number theory to map human behaviour used in the show.
Plus, you know, David Byrne! The Talking Heads! Brilliant, brilliant stuff.

Little Boxes – Regina Spektor

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One of many cover versions of the classic song used in the second season of “Weeds”. I’m including it here because it’s cute, but by definition it’s not really representative of the theme to the show – which was the same throughout the first season, and then was covered by disparate artists throughout the second one. And dropped altogether by the third.

Three croaky guys sing about the devil. I think.

I’m undecided on the Johnny Cash song – he may just be talking about the apocalypse in general. Or, you know, just some guy. And actually, it’s possible that each of these songs is some coded reference to alcoholism that I’m just not getting, because I’m only addicted to hookers and glue.

Step By Step – Jesse Winchester

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The Man Comes Around – Johnny Cash

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Way Down In The Hole – Tom Waits

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There’s lots to say about the subject of redemption, as covered by the various and talented musicians and artists out there, but I’m not sure I’m capable of the attention to detail that such a discussion would require this month…

Still, as always, feel free to say what you feel in the comments…!

This week, three songs connected to computer games, either literally or tangentally. Not going to say much about them, because, well, it’s a week when I should be doing other stuffs, and am not so far…

Blue Skies Forever – DoYouInvert

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I first heard DoYouInvert on the wonderfully, “only vaguely about gaming” gaming podcast, “One Life Left“. He/they do great little anti-folk songs about games.

In other news, I think I have a bit of a crush on Ann Scantlebury, adorably cute and naughty “only vaguely about gaming” newswench. The pictures at their website don’t really give a very clear indication of why I like her voice so much. That isn’t how sounds and pictures work, apparently.

Dust Off Your Cartridge – Joahmonkey

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This is actually a mashup, and I know very little about it, beyond that it’s awesome. J directed me to it – there’s a good chance that it comes from either the SomethingAwful or Dinosaur Comics forum.

Thank You Mario But Our Princess Is In Another Castle – Mountain Goats and Kaki King

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A lovely love song about the Nintendo trademark character. I think I heard this for the first time via BoingBoing, but it’s a favourite at 1LL as well. Good times!

This week I seem to be suffering the brain-wrongs, as does my computer. Also, the index finger on my right hand is paining me at the knuckle… I ACHES! So I thought I’d try to listen to some pretty, new music – or at least, music that was new to me.

It hasn’t worked out exactly right. These female singer-songwriters were a lot more perplexing than I’d have expected.

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This week, I was preoccupied with the darker side to female vocalists – that hard, cold and dangerous part of a certain sort of woman, that can save your life if it’s on your side, or damage you badly if it isn’t.

It might seem like just another excuse for me to go on about Regina Spektor, or Drugstore – and in fact, one of the songs that I’ve shared by the latter would fit nicely here, but I didn’t want to repeat myself, so I’ve gone for something else.

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One of the things Girl One and I do for fun is to think of songs that people think of as romantic – the “our song” or “first dance at our wedding” style songs – because they clearly haven’t listened to the lyrics at all.

The best two examples I can think of of this sort of song are “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt – not a loving song at all, because a) it’s about a love that is so far unrequited that it’s practically stalking and b) it’s by James Blunt – and “Every Breath You Take” by The Police, because it’s about stalking that has gone so far it’s practically love.

Still, everyone is prone to this sort of potentially embarrassing ignorance. Read on after the jump, for tales of my musical stupids.

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As we all already know, I am no music historian. So you can take it as read that I don’t know what the real key moments in the crossover of rap into other genres of music were.

I could probably take a stab at a few names that might be close to right. I’d be just as likely to make the argument – and even believe it! – that right thinking people shouldn’t be thinking in terms of musical genres “crossing over”; that the whole music thing is by necessity fluid, and as such, genre is by definition a limiting concept that cripples the creative endeavour.

Because frankly, I can be a really pretentious twat, sometimes.

But a more valid, less pompous point of view would be that rap and hip-hop grew out of a bunch of different styles and cultures, right from the start, like funk and soul, and that at the point where pop music and the vinyl revolution in recorded music first started, all of those genre structures were kind of mixed up in each other, with distinctions less defined and precious than they are now – and if you take that view, the point at which guitar rock and rap and everything else started feeding into each other was just a return to primal forms, anyway.

Regardless of all that, here are a few of my favourite moments of musical mind-meld hip-hop genius. These are in order of how much I think they’re awesome, rather than chronological or anything like that, and I’ve missed out other really important stuff, like Pop Will Eat Itself, The Beastie Boys, and the super-great “Walk This Way” by Run DMC and Aerosmith, because they’re either obvious or they deserve a post all of their own.

It’s a long one, this week, so it’s all hidden after the jump – as always, your opinions are welcome in the comments…

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Found Objects

  • The guy with the cock-piercing

    I once knew this guy. He was an unexceptional guy - a little geeky, and a lot loud, but not prone to particularly deep thought, or certainly not anything ground-breaking or controversial. He’d been signed off sick for a while with depression or some-such, and for all his noisy bluster and inability to let anyone else finish a sentence, it was fairly clear to anybody who cared to look that he was a pretty nervy guy.

    The only really unusual thing about the guy was that he had a pierced cock, and like many similar cultural burps, this fact became less interesting to anyone else in direct proportion to how transparently attention-seeking the initial motive behind doing it became.

    This is how a typical situation would play out. Bear in mind I’m paraphrasing, and may be conflating details for effect.

    The guy would walk into a room and ostentatiously announce his presence, by being blustery and loud. People would acknowledge him with an enthusiasm in direct relation to how well they knew and liked him, whether their attention was already taken up elsewhere, and whether or not they were just trying to have a quiet night.

    Depending on the response, he would do something else noisy, until at the very least, most people knew he was there.

    Then, after a while, regardless of what other conversations were going on, he would find a way to mention his pierced cock.

    “Did you see Episode 1?” A person would say.
    “Yeah, it was shit.” Someone would respond.
    “Yeah. It’s even shitter the fourth and fifth times.” The first person would continue.
    “…God, people are always going on about my pierced cock.” Our hero would loudly interject.
    “Hm.” One of the other people around the table would say, tactfully. “Still, looking forward to the second Matrix movie. It should be a treat. After all, that first one was lots of fun.”
    “I mean, ALWAYS. It’s like they’ve never heard about cock piercings before. God, people, don’t go on about it, you know? It’s just a piercing. In my cock. It’s no big deal.” The guy would continue.
    “Right. Yeah.” Somebody would say, feet shuffling. “So…”
    “You know I’ve got my cock pierced, right?”
    “Uuuhm. Oh.” The speaker would look frantically around the other people at the table, and finding no refuge, would take the leap. “Really? So… you’ve got… your cock pierced?”

    The guy with the pierced cock would roll his eyes dramatically, and say “Oh, god, come on. It’s just a cock piercing. It’s just life, you know? Why is everybody so fucking interested in it? Jesus, people are sad, if the only thing they’ve got to get excited about in their mundane little lives is judging someone just for being different, and having a little imagination. Why can’t people just mind their own business and let people like me do what we want with our cocks. It isn’t hurting anyone. It’s just personal expression.”

    “Oh… kay.” Someone would say, sheepishly, absently scratching at their shirt. Maybe their nipple ring was chafing… we’ll never know.

    “It’s like I can’t even go out any more.” The rant would continue. “The other night, I was in this place, just minding my own business, having a drink, and some girls I’d never met before begged me out of the blue to see my cock piercing. So I was like ‘fucking hell, okay, jesus, if it’ll shut you up’, and got up on the table and showed them all my cock. You know, to stop them going on about it.” There would be a pause, in which it’d feel like he was almost challenging someone to talk about something else, his fingers twitching ever so slightly near his zipper.

    Nobody would say anything for a bit. Then conversation would slowly start to get back to normal.

    Then, suddenly:
    “Fuck, okay, if it’ll shut you up, you can see it.”
    And the sound of a zipper.

    For some reason, and I have genuinely, sincerely no idea why, that memory, about a person of great noise and fury that ultimately signified nothing, has been on my mind all day today, so I thought I’d share it with you.

    03/12/10


  • Honest Comic Names

    Chris Sims, ladies and gentlemen…


    03/12/10

  • Evidence of the demise of purchased music is everywhere to be seen, except for one place: the statistics.
    Interesting article about the music industry @ the Guardian

    03/12/10

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